It was her birthday last weekend. I know because google reminded me, on account of a reminder she set on my laptop months ago. I did used to remember it, but after months of not seeing someone you're bound to forget things about them.
I shouldn't have, but I texted her. 'Happy Birthday'. I didn't think I wanted a reply, but there was a part of me that checked my phone every 3 minutes. I realised part of me was so desperate for a reply that it didn't care if it was an angry or sad reply. Some pathetic part of me. It's probably fuelled by jealousy, what with the new fella she's got. Still feels like i should be there with her.
Also she keeps popping up in dreams. Randomly. But each time, i can't ignore her and the dream becomes about her. This leads to thinking about her all day, and by the time I'm done thinking of her, she raids another dream.
Gawsh, what's wrong with me? Why can't I let this all go? Why after 4 months, haven't I stopped loving her?
I knew a date with someone else wouldn't work. Especially one that didn't turn out to be an actual date =L I can laugh about it now though. I just can't laugh about the other one. It still breaks my heart.
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