Musical opportunity, at last

My guitar teacher recommended me to a local band who just lost their guitarist. They sound good actually, focused and actively gigging. They'll call me next week to audition me.
If it works out great, my only reserve is Nathan. If I go into the band, I'll be righting with them now and I've been righting with Nathan since we started playing. We have some awesome tunes, but there was never a band for us in Southampton, so we couldn't take them very far. And this band Does have a bass player. I'll need to think about this one =S

Elliot

Small update

Got my driving lesson on Thursday. I really want to pass now, due to all the funny stories my mates are telling about each others driving. For their safety (and integrity) I won't be sharing them on the blog ;)
Also on Thursday I have a job interview. I've applied for the position I already have now, but right now I'm only temp, with an agency. Full time means a slight paycut but flexible working hours and fixed days/hours of holiday a year. Dad put the application in for me because I wasn't even made aware that the position had been advertised. Ideally, I wouldn't like to be there more than 2 more years from August, alas I started last August (no more than 3 years there) but I'm aware there's nothing really out there at the moment.

Snow came :D had to go into work, but only for half the day. Did f-all and that's the way (U-hu-u-hu) I like it (U-hu-u-hu).

Elliot

Some things take their time

So we had some auditions for the band this week, my friend Gill (pronounced J-ill, a girls name) and her bf: they were pretty good :) still wana audition more people, broaden horizons and all, but Southampton is a dead city for music. There are no really great musicians or bands to join here, except for my buddy Nathan and he's only still here because his uni is here. All the great musicians I've known from this city get up and move on to uni or a far away job, because everyone else who dreams the same dreams and shares the same ambition has already done so themselves. It sucks because we 2 have so much drive for this and it's aggravating that no one else here really does. We're on our own and it sucks.

He's a gifted bassist, I'm a pretty good guitarist and a rusty vocalist; ultimately we're both fantastic musicians. the songs are all there; great pieces indeed, but a band isn't there with us at this time. So until then, I'm sat in my room playing, improving all the while because I do just love to play, but with nothing to show for this passion in me. I write for a gifted band, not solo acts or ensembles, so that's what we need. I hope we get it soon...

Need a Guitarist, Drummer and maybe a keyboard player for some progressive rock and metal in Southampton. Why is that difficult?

Elliot

Running - Again! And etc...

Nearly broke the 30 minute mark today. If only I hadn't been chain-eating at work today :/
I've got a sliver of fat on my stomach now. Good, because I was/am a rake :L but it means that my freakishly good metabolism is starting to change. That, and every meal of the last week was take-away, from New Year's Eve up to Saturday. Ooh, that doesn't feel so good to say :S

And I definitely need an inhaler. Yikes, childhood asthma's back!

So, embarrassing story. I got out of the shower to a steam filled room and went to open the window - turn it twice to open it top-towards you. Turn it once to open it off the wall, open completely. I turned it once, aimed to continue turning, when a gust of wind blew the window open. I had just got out of the shower, so I wasn't exactly fully dressed.
Luckily, the student crossing the car park did not look over their left shoulder. Oh dear...

Oh well. Had a great jam with Jill and Matt yesterday, look forward to the next one with them :)

Elliot

Just when you think you're over it...

You get kicked again as you start to get up from it all.
She's with someone else now.
Can't say I blame her, I met the dude a few times. Nice guy. But it's gunna pop into my head again and again now.
Hey, they're together
Hey, she's forgotten you
Hey, they're doing It together
And those random thoughts are the kicks to the ribs as you try to get up

And as much as I would like to say I'm 100% moved on, which I actually think I am, I still feel tied to her in some way I guess that she doesn't feel tied to me. Greatest love I've ever felt, perhaps? We talked about spending the rest of our lives together and we ended up spending ten months together. Great months, lame ending.

But I believe that I'm better deserving than that. I deserve someone who will not throw it all away because they couldn't understand how tough a time I was going through.
Actually yeah. When she broke it off, it was all, 'this is how I feel' and 'this is what I think', she wouldn't listen to my apologies or reasons. At all.
It's easy to be angry and I don't want to be. The simple thing is this; I wanted a life with her 'for better or for worse', and it seems we worked great in the better times, but crumbled in the worse. And that's partially my fault, for falling silent, and partially hers, for expecting things to be easy and not wanting to fight or hold on in tough times. It could have been a LOT tougher.

I deserve better.
I'll find Better someday. Someday.

Elliot

All thoughts turn to her

Still. After all this time.
What's it been now, like 2 months+? This is ridiculous now. The worst part is that I thought I was over all this. But seeing her face one more time, added to hearing absolutely nothing from her leading to me speculate constantly on how she feels or where she's at with it all.
And why do I care any more? I know it can't work out any more. I know my best friend Is gone forever. I know I'll still love her in some way of respect and good memory. But why am I crying over it all over again?
Maybe because I'm so tired from a holiday that was actually busier than work and completely emotionally draining.
I don't know. But 2012 had the best 10 months of my life, Jan to Oct, followed by the 2 most difficult of my life.
Maybe because the person Im starting to think That I've no chance whatsoever with is the next person I'm becoming interested in, whilst asking myself 'aren't you way too hung up on the last girl for s new relationship? Don't you have to be comfortable with being single before you make a new relationship?'
And the question I keep asking myself is this; 'do you remember who you are?'
I don't know where the question came from, but I can't answer it. I was so sure of myself when I was with her and now I've no idea who I am, what my dreams are or where I'm going.
I wish I could break these ties from her like I could a toothpick but I can't. I thought time had faded the hurt but something went and kicked me swiftly just as I was ready to get back up.
Maybe the relationship could only ever work in the better times and so it was doomed in the worse times.
Ah. Infinite possibilities come crashing down on my head once more, driving me mad. Why won't it go away?
Why won't this end?

Elliot