A Minute quicker =)

Ok, so it was Barely an improvement, so what; I'm taking it as an achievement.
0:28:58 is the fastest run I've done yet and it counts as faster than 29m in my book.
The added bonus is that 6 months of running is starting to show. Trying to withhold pride here, but I look goooooddd...
I suppose taking up mixed martial arts + cycling + doing weights has helped as well though
Can honestly say that I'm now fitter than I've ever been. Still eating pretty badly though, gotta work on that. But I suppose pizza won't affect me for another 2 years yet lol

Oh yeah, also I broke it off with the latest Gf. It was a good breakup actually. Best one I have ever had, put it that way...

E

Why am I here?

Or is it more like what am I doing?
Im in a new relationship, but Ive been thinking, and I think that i don't want to be in it...
I'm aware that I need to analyse myself and my motives for this, e.g. not try to make this new into a 'new maddy' or a substitute of any kind, and I haven't been...but I realise that I still miss her. Whenever I'm with this new girl, my mind's not in the same room. It's off thinking about Mads again. Missing her and still loving her.
You'd have thought that love, unreciprocated for over 5 months, would have died by now, having no nourishment from the person you so love (i mean, her love for me died after two weeks, apparently), but it still clings into the memory of her. Wishing. Wanting. Missing. Loving, unconditionally. It tares me apart because u know she doesn't want to come back.
Again and again, I wish I could go back in time, tell myself to beware of this coming emotional void and to fight it with all you've got, or to smack my formerly in-void self to snap out of it as he doesn't realise how much he'll loose and that it's ok to keep her because they love each other so. But I can't.
i can only try that here, now. And she doesn't talk to me. I'd imagine she's trying to make a new life with that bf of hers and trying (if not already succeeded) to put me behind her.

I have to so something. I have to end this mistake. And I wish She'd forgive me for the ones I've made. I'm never going to make them again. Ever. I just know. I prommisse.

Apathetic

Another useful definition. And apparently that's all I need - definitions.
I'm the type of person that likes to take emotional responses and put them in categorised and quantified 'boxes' in my mind. Which makes seance to me.
I'm feeling much better so they asked me if I wanted to continue with the therapy. I said no. I'm feeling much more at peace with myself. I understand myself more. I can controll myself more, and more so with practice I suppose.

In other news, I'm dating someone. She's awesome. I knew her from college actually and I ran home past her a few times before I actually thought 'I should text her'. Met up, we were interested, now dating. Good, good...

Also, I'm batman. =L
Note to self - going paintballng in a batman onesie send cowl makes you a Huge target - my skin is purpley blotched all over lol.

Happy Easter y'all =D
Elliot